


Please Don’t Touch my Arm with your Arm; How I Almost Died on a Public Bus

by deadvinesandfanfics



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, I've made several mistakes but im not sorry lmao, actually caring about my education?? no thanks, literally just a crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadvinesandfanfics/pseuds/deadvinesandfanfics
Summary: ok so. Attempting to write an actual English assignment and get good grades? ha. nope.Anyways have an old crackfic that's been in my google docs for way too long.inspired by that weird Marie Kondo tweet. you all know the one.https://twitter.com/babadookspinoza/status/1084596547415871488
Kudos: 2





	Please Don’t Touch my Arm with your Arm; How I Almost Died on a Public Bus

**Author's Note:**

> lmao have fun with this garbage :)

I was sitting on the bus when I first saw _him_. I remember the sound of his shoes squeaking as he jumped onto the bus, the smell of pure fear, the sight of his disheveled face as he clenched the stolen child. I also remember seeing the child on an ad, asking those who had seen him to come forward. It was too late to come forward now. He looked scared.

“Drive!” The man said as he swung to face the driver. The driver did just that, the bus skidding forward and jolting the passengers. The man pushed onwards, the boy in tow, moving to stand in the aisle. He stopped next to me.

Then the sirens began. A low, wailing noise that trailed the bus, skidding around the other cars on the freeway, creeping up alongside the bus. The bus driver panicked even more.

I don’t think he realized it, but the man had begun to grip my arm. I think he thought it was a pole or something stable in the midst of his panic, but I didn’t like it nonetheless.

“Sir?” I had asked, almost every muscle in my body frozen solid, other than my mouth. “Please don’t touch your arm with my arm. I don’t want them to think I'm with you.” I had felt like I was going to die out of fear. Imagine, dying on a bus that’s being chased by the police. The whole scene was chaotic.

The man jerked back-out of spite or just because he hadn’t realized, I didn’t know which.

The police sirens grew louder. The bus moved more and more irregularly and passengers had begun to become more panicked.

Then the driver crashed.

He slammed into a slower car and everything lurched forward for a few seconds. A woman shrieked. A baby cried. In a few seconds, the police boarded the bus.

“Please!” The man backed up, holding the wide-eyed, sandy-haired child closer to him. “I wasn’t going to hurt him! I just wanted you people to leave me alone!”

“You.” They grabbed the man, and he released the child. “You’ve escaped the IRS for the last time.” They left the bus with the man in handcuffs.

Everyone knew what would happen to him.

We gathered in front of the town hall, smashed together like sheep in a small pen. The smell of sweat and shoes lingered in the air as we waited for Her to appear.

I leaned against the man before me, pushing up on my tip-toes to catch a glimpse. I could see the pit from there, in front of the stage that would separate Her from the audience. The man from earlier kneeled in front of the pit, praying. His arms and legs were bound.

Suddenly, there was silence.

It washed over the crowd all too fast, the excited and nervous chatter halting.

She stepped out into the light. Her midnight hair resting on Her shoulders. Her smile, still plastered on Her face remains bright and all-knowing. Her skin, unaffected by age. She truly is a God. She was there during The Uprising, they say. She was the one who planned it all.

The year is 2035. Marie Kondo holds up the condemned man to the crowd.

“Does this man spark joy?”

The crowd jeers, “No, he does not!”

She nods silently before snapping his spine like a 0.5 mechanical pencil lead. She throws his limp body into the pit.

The crowd disbands. Life moves on.

Everything is normal.

**Author's Note:**

> if you actually managed to make it through through this mess thank you and im sorry lmao


End file.
